Writer. Poet. Truth Seeker. Fire Starter.
My conscious search for myself started 12 years ago when I moved to US from Moscow, Russia.
“No one knows me here” I kept thinking as I was waiting in line to pass through security at JFK airport. “I can completely re-invent myself and no one will be surprised, resistant or resentful. I can start over.” Young and naive, I was imagining the reinvention where I would leave my introverted, reserved and self-conscious self behind embracing the new easy-going me who would be gracefully creating the life of her dreams in this new country.
Thankfully, it didn’t take long to realize that the plan was a delusion. The introverted self didn’t wish to go, in fact she became even bolder and louder, which in her weird way meant more self-absorbed, easily overwhelmed by other people and highly sensitive. And so I made a new plan. I had to learn how to live with her. But first I had to get to know her.
Two marriages, a few career changes and three kids later the process of getting to know her is still actively under way. I know that she is insightful, passionate, deep and intuitive. I know that she can move as fast as lightning but some days she needs to sit still for hours and do nothing but listen to her inner world. I know that she loves poetry, notebooks and thought provoking conversations. I know that she dreads small talk but can speak forever about things that matter with people who are not afraid to go deep. I know that she is passionate about social change. I like her quite a bit, yet there is still so much to learn about her and I don’t think one lifetime is enough
- I believe that honesty is the most transformative and the most accessible spiritual practice that raises our self-awareness, helps us get back to our true selves and intimately engage with this one wild and precious adventure called Life.
- I believe that when we don’t express our gifts we get sick. Gift turns into a poison. Because gift unexpressed is a lie and a form of self-betrayal.
- I believe that we are always with the right partner who we chose to use as a mirror for what we suppressed in ourselves and to shine the light on our wounds.
- I believe that any form of addiction – shopping, food, alcohol, drugs, social media, is always a compensation tactic for a lack of aliveness in one or more areas of our lives. Honesty is always the first step out.
- I believe that the goal of life is not pleasure, it’s growth. We will make a big leap when we truly understand this.
- I believe that one of the biggest shifts that needs to happen on individual and collective levels of our evolution is the shift from a victim mentality where we view life as something that happens to us to a creator mentality where we take 100% responsibility and start asking different questions.
- I believe that boundaries are important. Both protecting yours and respecting others’.
- I believe that anger is a good thing. Feeling it, using it as a creative energy, setting clearer boundaries, yet not acting on it uncontrollably.
- Feel your feelings. Always.
- I believe that guilt and complaining are distraction tactics that our inner victim uses to not take responsibility. They drag us down, never move us forward.
- I believe that our language determines everything. I like the idea of creating a universal language that will eliminate words, phrases, vibes of victim mentality and, instead, force us to think with more intention, honesty and responsibility.
- I believe we need to remember that our children are on a unique path here on Earth – the path we don’t know and can’t comprehend.
- I believe we don’t need to be perfect as parents. I believe the best thing we can do for our children is to live our own lives authentically and with purpose.
- I believe that we live during the most exciting and confusing time in history. I am so grateful to be alive right now.
- I believe that we are holistic beings. And our physical bodies are reflections of not only our physical well-being, but also emotional, mental and spiritual. It’s not all about what we eat and how much we exercise.
I was raised in a small country in Central Asia, Uzbekistan. My native language is Russian, yet most words I write these days are in English.
I currently live in the suburbs of Atlanta, GA where I often feel like a complete misfit, but my kids have a great childhood here so I don’t care.
INFP and Enneagram 4, I am an idealist, require lots of alone time and am wildly creative.
I have three kids ages 2, 5 and 9. They truly are my greatest teachers who expose my shadows and wounds daily. Motherhood along with relationships with my husband and ex-husband are the most challenging and transformative things that ever happened to me.
We grow through each other and work hard everyday to communicate consciously and see precious opportunities for healing in our messiest moments.
I started my business in 2008 to have a meaningful project to work on and make some money while I stayed at home with my firstborn. I wrote articles on personal development for a few months and then one day spontaneously put together a work with me coaching page.
To my surprise, someone hired me the next day and thus started my journey of facing my demons around self-worth, doubting my message and whether I had anything useful or inspiring to offer to people.
When more kids came along, I took a long break from my business and now I am getting back to doing what I love – writing, leading groups on the journey of self-discovery and dreaming of social change projects I’ll start when my kids are older.
I am a fire starter at heart. Projects I launch are usually inspired by a lesson or a life changing insight I had. Many of my projects have a form of online or live workshops. That’s what feels true at this point.
Most workshops I offer once or twice before moving on to the next endeavor. The only workshop that seems to stick over the years is Your Unique Gifts workshop where we find a unique combination of keywords to describe your gifts (strengths).
I am a lover of words and poetry, yet for a long time I didn’t allow myself to write poetry because I write in a language that is not my native and poetry requires a graceful command of an extended vocabulary. So I thought.
This year I allowed myself to call myself a poet. I am the happiest when Life moves through me and into the page in the form of words that rhyme (or don’t).
My life and work have been influenced by many teachings and teachers – various personality systems, of which the Enneagram and Vector Psychology are two biggest influencers, Gestalt Therapy, the Fourth Way of Gurdjieff, Radical Honesty of Brad Blanton and Non-Violent Communication of Marshall Rosenberg, Julia Cameron’s work on creativity, Ken Wilber’s Integral Theory, Brene Brown’s work on shame, Leading From The Emerging Future by Otto Sharmer, Jungian psychology, Gene Keys by Richard Rudd – just to name a few.
At the end of the day my journey is very similar to the journey of many of us. It’s the journey that I believe we experience on an individual and collective level – the journey of letting go of victim mentality that thinks we need to lie, betray ourselves, separate, divide, suppress, wear a mask, force, push and manipulate.
It’s a truth journey toward our true nature and our potential of being intentional creators.
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