I’ve been doing lots of reflecting in the past few weeks. I was also sick quite a bit in the past few weeks.
What I feel in me and what I see happening in the world is a fight between two stories.
At this point I don’t know how to navigate this fight with grace and harmony. There is a reason people talk about dark night of the soul when individual is moving to the next level, and dark ages when social structures collapse and humanity looks for a new way to live.
Old story doesn’t want to go. Old you doesn’t want to leave, at least not without a fight.
The old story is the story of not enoughness.
It’s the story that makes us work for fake goals, smile when we want to roar, get into relationships that don’t honor our growth, say things we don’t mean, engage in drugs (some socially acceptable, some not) to numb our pain and go to bed at night deeply unfulfilled and unsatisfied.
It’s the same story that makes us destroy our planet in a race for power and profit.
How do we let that story go?
It’s a journey.
And you start this journey with a simple realization that you’ve been abandoning and betraying yourself your whole life.
To earn unconditional love and support of your parents first, and, then, when you didn’t need their unconditional love and support anymore, you, unfortunately, never learned to give yourself your own.
And so you continued betraying who you are, except now to earn love of people around you – your neighbors, friends, co-workers, partners and society at large are now your judges who you want to please and prove that you are good, that you are worthy.
Look at me, love me, admire me, fulfill my needs – your inner child is screaming.
The story of not enoughness is all about fear.
For me that fear manifested in hiding. I’ve been hiding from the world scared to be hurt and rejected, hoping that someone would come and find me and give me the love I needed.
For some people the same fear and the story of not enoughness make them reach one external goal after another. They might look fulfilled and successful on the outside, yet only they know why they do what they do.
It’s time we look in the mirror and say – I love you and I will take care of all of your needs. You don’t need to prove anything anymore. You don’t need to impress anyone anymore. Go do something that makes you truly happy. Go figure out who you are and commit to never betraying yourself again. I am here to catch you if you fall.
It’s time for a new story. I call it the story of commitment to your Truth.
It starts with looking at where in our lives we betray ourselves and act based on the story of not enoughness. It’s a journey of peeling like an onion years of conditioning.
It will take awhile, maybe a lifetime, but commitment is all you need to begin with.
Once you know in your heart that you are committed to walking this journey, you’ll feel deeply fulfilled and satisfied.
And then you start asking yourself the Truth Journey questions – Who am I? What do I truly want? Who do I have a potential to become? Why am I here?
Every day you’ll hear a different answer and that’s ok. Many days you’ll discover that the answers you got the day before were really coming from fear, not your truth. And that’s ok too.
The key is to keep asking and making one step forward. Commitment to walking the journey is all that matters.
That’s how you slowly start writing a new story.
What story could we write collectively and individually if we all committed to following our hearts and our truths?
I’ve created a new workbook with two unique metaphoric questions + two exercises, that will help you clarify your Strengths+Gifts. Gaining clarity on your strengths and gifts is one of the fundamental steps on the Truth Journey. It’s the first answer to the question – Who am I? Get the workbook here.