I spent the last weeks of December and the first weeks of January reflecting, gaining clarity, thinking of the direction my work and life will take in the next 2-3 years.
2015 was a year when I allowed myself to dream big again. I claimed my dreams of being a changemaker and visionary which made me feel profoundly inspired, yet so scared. Who am I to want that?
I was watching myself going back and forth between moment of immense inspiration and deep fear.
I started writing again, spreading my wings. I saw myself in touch with my essence one day and fully disconnected the next.
I fought my inner victim. I fought her hard, until one day it became painfully clear that fighting her is futile. And then I accepted. And she let go.
I watched myself learning to communicate again what it is that I do in the world. I tried several new programs, observing carefully what people responded to and what found the most resonance in my soul.
I spoke from the depth of my heart in some of my posts and in some I spoke from the depth of my Ego, calculating meticulously what would make you want to take action.
I changed taglines and my about page multiple times. Some evolutions were truly authentic to who I was, others – not so much.
It was the year of claiming my true desires and my gifts. It was the year of seriously re-thinking the values I live by. It was the year of learning to honor my future self again.
This process was like a dance between fear and clear heartfelt intention. Between what I truly wanted to be and create in the world and what my old self tried to tell me made sense. So many patterns came to the surface and got exposed into the light of awareness.
I feel that this is the year for me to get truly committed to my vision and my next evolution.
I also feel this is the year to finish all the unfinished business that is standing on the way between who I want to be and where I am now. Those patterns that were brought into the light, this is the year to integrate them.
After lots of experimentation with my offerings, I decided that the only offer I’ll have now on my personal website is my program that helps you find the keywords for your authentic gifts.
That was the most powerful part that 99% of my clients last year reported to have benefited from immensely. It is also something that comes so naturally to me.
I will not do any business coaching, brand story creation or website work. I will not be helping with clarity around my client’s purpose and vision anymore. And I am letting go of my women’s circles.
What will I do instead? Couple things.
First, I will dedicate my time to writing poems about our humanity and the change that our planet needs so much.
I found myself recently pull into the random parking lot because I had to read one of Benlily’s poems. After 30 minutes of reading one poem after another, I looked up and noticed I was in church’s parking lot. The sign in front of me read Welcome Home. I missed writing poems so much.
When I imagine myself looking back at my life from my death bed, one of the most important things I want to see to have accomplished is leaving poetry for my children and grandchildren (and who am I kidding!, I want everyone to read what I write).
I want to write about small things – like the way I feel the urgency to finish putting my son to sleep at night so that I can catch the last few hours of the day without anyone demanding anything from me or sucking my breasts, and then I am struck by the miracle of him nursing, relaxing, letting go of his trains that he always brings with him everywhere he goes and I sit there in awe, no more feeling any desire to put him down. Motherhood! You crack me open, leave me elated and often so confused.
And then I want to write about big things like the change I want to assist and the projects I start and my visions about the future of our planet. Who is to judge though what’s big or small?
I have a fear that my English is not good enough for writing poetry that will touch the depth of my reader’s soul.
Poetry – it requires grace and flow and eloquence. I have intensity. I am not sure about the rest. Maybe I’ll get it with time. Maybe not. I know that I need to jump into that fear, just like I always tell my clients.
Second, I am launching a prototype for my big project that I wanted to launch years ago. All of my other projects – Visionary Women Circles, Positivity Place, New Generation Project were really just toned-down versions of that one project that my soul truly wants to start.
I want to create a place for Changemakers and Visionaries to come together in the spirit of support, co-creation and collaboration.
I don’t know how it will look like yet. This is a project I am going to commit to for the next 3-5 years and I can’t see yet what it will evolve into. My prototype will start with a local group and potentially a Facebook group. I hope it will evolve into a platform where visionaries and changemakers from all over the world will come together to make this world a place that works for all.
So, to summarize, my focus will be on these three areas:
- Authentic Gifts program
- Poetry/writing about our humanity and change
- Changemakers and Visionaries Collective project (the name might change).
I am grateful for you witnessing my journey of unfolding. If my new path is not something that you feel resonance with, please unsubscribe. I feel that this evolution of my work will stay for a awhile.
Thank you for being here. Here is to your own unfolding!